My belief is that no matter what is going on in your life, the state of your mind or mindset as some would call it will dictate how you actually feel. One of the biggest problems I see today is that most people are not happy.
We look for external stimuli to make us happy. We expect our significant other to make us happy and divorce them when they don’t. We expect our children to fulfill our dreams for them and are disappointed in them when they don’t. We think a bunch of money will solve all our problems and make us happy, then, we can’t understand why it doesn’t once we have it.
How many times have you heard someone say, “I will be happy when…”?
I will be happy when… I get married.
I will be happy when… I get a promotion.
I will be happy when… my children are grown and I have more time for myself.
I can keep stating pages and pages of examples but I won’t because they’re all the same.
Another way to view this statement is, “I will do this, when that happens.” Have you ever made that type of statement? I hear people say it all the time. You are making your happiness contingent upon an external event.
A friend of mine thought this way years ago. He always said he would buy a house, when he remarried. He kept saying that for years; until one day, he realized that he did not need to wait to meet that special someone to own and enjoy a home of his own. Since then, he has owned two homes is still single… but he is happy!
Happiness is definitely not an external thing. Even once you have something external, the happiness it brings you is short-lived. For example:
You’ve waited for that special relationship. Your significant other is great, but you still have a negative attitude. You were happy during the initial stages, but now it seems to be routine.
You have always known that a job promotion would get that new home for which you and your spouse have been waiting. You get the promotion, the money is great, and you buy that home you always wanted. After the initial excitement wears off, things go back to the same routine, just in a different house. Your happiness falls back to your previous feeling before the promotion.
You and your spouse know that you will be happy, once the children are grown. You won’t have to work so hard to provide for the family and you’ll have more time to enjoy your relationship and your home. Well, the children have grown, but they can’t afford to live on their own. All three children are still living at home…for free!
Looking at all the time in the examples above do you see how much time that people wasted not being happy! Then, when they actually got what they were waiting for, the happiness was just fleeting. Again, it’s because happiness cannot be gained from anything external.
THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS
It’s incredible how many books have been written on the topic of being happy. Yet, so many people just don’t get it. Do they not read the books? And then there are people who read these books all the time and are still not happy.
With so many unhappy people in the world, being happy must be an extremely difficult thing to achieve. Have you ever known or met that person who always has a great smile on their face, a smile in their voice, and a skip in their step? You want that too…don’t you?
So what is the secret to finding happiness?
Believe it or not, the secret is known!
It is easy to do – no complicated actions.
It is quick to do – no long-term procedures.
You can do it anywhere – no special requirements or equipment are needed.
Anyone can do it!
Determine yourself to be happy!
It’s an internal process.
True happiness that lasts is an internal process. Nothing from the outside can make you happy or unhappy. As in any situation, your reaction determines whether the event is stressful for you or not. It is the same with happiness.
If upon waking each morning, you state strongly to yourself, “I will be happy today”, then you will be. Whenever you encounter stress, just mentally reaffirm yourself, “I am happy today”, the stress will be there, but your reaction will be minimal.
That person you noticed who always wears a smile and has a skip in their step, seldom experiences stress the same way you do. They are happy, and being happy allows the stress to roll of their back much easier.
So, starting today make your determination every morning to be HAPPY.
Tape affirmations all over the house that say, “I am happy today”.
Say it aloud to yourself often throughout the day, especially on those days with extra stress. Continue to say it, until you believe it.
Now, all that’s left is to put a smile on your face and confront the world. When you are happy, you will have the world eating out of your hands!